Beyond Everlight: an Urban Fantasy Novel (Fearless Destiny Book 1) Read online

  “As far as djinn go he’s one of the better ones. Djinn aren’t born with an ounce of humanity, but with Erebus, I always say that the creator broke the mould.”

  Yes, Erebus is great. He saved my life when you did nothing.

  I wanted to scream the words at him, but my throat was painfully tight and my eyes pricked. Fuck this, I wasn’t going to stand around and pretend that we were buddies again. Shit didn’t work that way.

  “Excuse me. I have to go.”

  Hugging the tiny pot to my abdomen I strode out of the room, ignoring the aching burn in my leg.

  CHAPTER29

  T onight all the djinn were present at the dining table. They’d even saved me my usual seat. The twins had outdone themselves with the spread; meat and gravy, four different vegetables, some fluffy pastry type thing, and a spongy desert to wrap it all up. Erebus hadn’t joined us yet, but his djinn were in high spirits, toasting and drinking from their goblets with relish. They’d been out earlier doing goodness knew what. I’d come to connect their good moods to having been on an excursion. I guess a little battle was good for the soul after all.

  “This is delicious,” I jabbed a fork at the meat on my plate.

  “Don’t you want to know what it is?” Baron asked.

  I shook my head. “Nope.” I glanced at Vale who snorted.

  They tried this every time but I wasn’t falling for it. If I wanted to eat, I needed to go on taste alone, and this meat tasted good. End of.

  Baron chuckled and went back to his own meal.

  As I cut and chewed, I waited for Erebus or Sabriel to join us. I hadn’t seen either since the training room earlier, but then I realised this was the perfect moment to pump the other djinn for information on Sabriel.

  I’d had a lot of time to think about that night, how he hadn’t wanted to take me out into Evernight. He’s said something but I couldn’t recall what, I’d been too focused on getting out there, but now it was bugging me. I was pissed, but I didn’t believe I’d misjudged him. There had to be more to the story, and if Sabriel wouldn’t tell me, then maybe the djinn would. For starters I had no clue what Sabriel was. I’d assumed he was some kind of djinn at first, but the others didn’t treat him like one of them. He definitely wasn’t Twilighter, ‘cos of the ear thing, so what was he?

  I sipped my water and turned to Baron, who was seated beside me. “So, what kind of creature is Sabriel?”

  Baron quirked a brow. “He hasn’t told you?”

  I shook my head and his lips curled in a wicked smile.

  Aiden leaned in from across the table. “He must have his reasons not to say.”

  Baron snorted, “Like I give a shit.”

  “Baron . . . Don’t,” Vale warned.

  Baron didn’t even glance his way. “Sabriel is an angel.”

  I blinked at him, not sure I’d heard right. “An angel? As in god and stuff?”

  “And stuff . . . Aw, isn’t she adorable.” Baron reached out and pinched my cheek.

  I jerked away, making him laugh. Baron seemed pretty easy going, but he had a spiteful streak in him. That pinch had been harder than it needed to be.

  Aiden shot his brother a disgusted look. “You shouldn’t have done that, if Sabriel wanted her to know he would have told her.”

  “Or maybe he was waiting for her to ask around and find out for herself.”

  “And maybe you should stop being such an infernal arsehole.”

  Sabriel materialised at the end of the table. “Kenna?”

  I stared at him—a dude in a pale green cotton shirt and matching trousers.

  This was an angel?

  “I was going to tell you when the time was right. I know how much you despise religion.”

  He knew? How the heck did he know? He was an angel so had he read my mind, spied on me? I’d thought he was my friend. My cheeks grew hot, and pressure built behind my eyes.

  “What did you do? Jump in my head and take a fucking swim?”

  “It doesn’t work that way I—”

  The scrape of my chair cut him short. “Forget it. I don’t care. Just stay the fuck away from me.”

  I needed to get away and think without all the eyes on me. The north staircase was a blessing, but Sabriel materialised in front of my door, blocking my path.

  He held up his hands. “I’m sorry. I understand. Based on the atrocities you have seen, it must be hard to keep the faith.”

  “Do you know why I despise religion? Because it gives people false hope. It makes them lazy. Instead of taking action they put their faith in an absent god, and when things fuck up they call it god’s will.” I stood, hands on hips, so riled my chest was heaving. “You know, it wasn’t so bad when I thought he didn’t exist. I could blame the idiots propagating the word, but now I know different—there is a god but he just doesn’t give a shit!” I shoved him aside to get to my door. “I keep the faith alright, just not in the likes of you.”

  Sabriel’s eyes grew moist and my ire rose.

  “Oh, don’t give me that crap! Why should you care what happens to me? You barely know me. In fact, if you care so damn much, where were you when I cried out for help? Where were you as I was forced to hack off my leg?”

  I snapped my mouth shut, desperately wanting to take back the words. This subject was taboo.

  His scanned my face, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked . . . torn. His shoulders drooped and when he spoke next his voice was a tender embrace.

  “I was there, Kenna. I was there to steady your hand when you brought down that cleaver. I was there to bring you back to consciousness so you could finish the job, and I was there to grant you oblivion from the pain once it was over.”

  My chest tingled and my stomach hardened. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t know that, not unless . . . unless he had been there . . . unless he’d . . . I couldn’t do this right now. It was too much.

  Stepping into my room, I slammed the door in his face.

  ***

  I stood with my back pressed to the door. He was still out there. I could sense him. Why wouldn’t he just go away? I didn’t want to think, I didn’t want to accept or to believe. Pastor Cimren’s face came to mind, his many kind words hinting at something more, something bigger than us. And he’d been right. There was a god, one who had sent an angel to help me. But he hadn’t stopped the pain. He hadn’t saved my leg.

  I was so confused.

  “Kenna, please let me in so we can talk. Let me explain.”

  The heat of rage was gone, leaving an empty ache where my heart should be. Maybe his words would fill it?

  Taking a deep breath I opened the door and stepped back out into the corridor.

  ***

  Angels were real and they wore cotton. Or at least that’s what Sabriel said as we sat in our usual spots in the library. The fire popped and fizzed as my anger toward my friend dissolved. It was impossible to hate Sabriel. It was god I was mad at.

  “Can’t you tell god to get off his ass and do something about the crap that humanity is going through right now?”

  “It doesn’t work that way, Kenna. We aren’t permitted to intervene, not directly. Humanity was given free will for a reason.”

  Yeah, so it could shoot itself in the foot it seemed. “So why are you here, in Evernight?”

  He bowed his head. “Erebus and I . . . We go back a long way, and when I knew you were coming here I arrived as quickly as I could.”

  “Wait—you came here specifically for me? I don’t understand.”

  “There is too much for you to understand right now, all you need to know is there are some souls that are chosen. Souls that are meant for more. And for those souls we are given a certain amount of free will . . . a length of rope by which our actions are measured. It was what allowed me to come to you that terrible night when you were forced to make a horrific decision. It was why I was unable to intervene to save you the other night.”

  His words came back t
o me. He’d warned me he wouldn’t be able to intervene, but I hadn’t listened.

  “It was all I could do not to tear that thing off you, Kenna. It was the hardest thing, to let events play out as they were meant to.”

  “You knew Erebus would come?”

  “No. But I had faith. The little freedom I do have will allow me to find you as long as you should need me.” He reached out and grazed my cheek with his fingertips. “I am your angel Kenna.”

  My mouth went dry as I looked into those sincere blue eyes. There was nothing but tenderness in their depths, and I couldn’t help but reach up and take his hand. I squeezed, not knowing what to say. Thank you sounded a little lame for the situation.

  A real live angel.

  I don’t know why it was so shocking. After the denizens, the djinn, and the Twilighters, angels should have been a breeze to accept. But for humanity, god and his divine beings held a higher regard, they were surrounded by faith and were untouchable to us, something that existed in our hearts and minds. Had there been a part of me wanting to be proven wrong? Had I wanted some sign, some heavenly act to ignite faith in my heart? Hadn’t I called out to god in my darkest hour? The fact that I was sitting here in the library talking to Sabriel, an angel, was all the answer I needed. The how’s and why’s of it all were still unclear, but this, right now, was a start. And then there was the question of how much Erebus knew about Sabriel’s purpose with regards to me.

  “Does Erebus know you came here for me?”

  Sabriel nodded. “When I arrived you’d already been placed in the pool of dreams, but once I explained that you were important to me, Erebus agreed to retrieve you. It just so happened you’d already extricated yourself.”

  That explained Erebus’s timely arrival in the chamber that day. “So, I’m supposed to do something important?”

  Sabriel nodded.

  The flame. It had to be.

  My stomach churned and I closed my eyes briefly. “Do you know what it is?”

  “No.”

  I sat back in my seat and lifted my sleeve to reveal the Fearless mark that Lauren had etched into my skin. It was beginning to fade. The mark was a lie, but I did have a destiny . . . just not one that I wished to fulfil. An image of the flame filled my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut.

  I wasn’t ready . . . Not yet. But destinies had a way of finding you. How long did I have left before mine caught up with me?

  CHAPTER30

  T he garden in the courtyard was a good place to digest the events of the past few weeks. It was hard to believe I had been here less than a month. Being here in the fortress, with Erebus, his djinn, and Sabriel was becoming a little too comfortable. And then there was the issue of the flame and its reaction to me. I wanted so much to believe that I’d imagined it, but there was no denying that I was different from other humans. My lack of destiny mark, the fact I could comprehend their language, that I could see beyond their glamour; it all came together to point to a destiny I didn’t want. It all came back to the way the flame had reacted to me. It fed on souls for god sake. And it wanted mine.

  I wasn’t ready to be the super fuel it needed.

  The cobble path took me back to the pool, but this time I barely noticed the splendour of the outdoor haven. The intoxicating aromas were lost on me tonight. I parked my butt on the stone bench and stared at the pool. The water gleamed in the moonlight, a flat serene disc. What I needed was a diversion, something to take the spotlight off me and place it neatly elsewhere.

  “Hello, water dude, you there?”

  The water remained motionless.

  I lowered myself to the ground and leaned down toward the pool. “Water dude?”

  Had I imagined him? Those intense green eyes over that slash of a mouth, and that barrel chest with the flapping gills cut into his side? No. My imagination was no way near that good. Maybe he wasn’t in a sociable mood today. Shame, because I was pretty sure he’d been trying to tell me something last time, and I could really do with something new to focus on, aside from my destiny predicament.

  I’d about given up when a shadow darted across the water just under the surface. The garden fell into pin-drop silence. All ambient sound ceased abruptly, even the breeze held its breath. The hairs on the back of my neck sprang up in warning just as a hand burst from the water right in front of my face. My scream was a gurgle, and then the hand had a hunk of my hair and I was yanked face first into the pool.

  I was upside down, headed for the pool bed, my limbs flailing in slow motion as I tried to flip, to turn my body to go up instead of down. Down was nothing but a black abyss. My chest began to burn with the need to breathe. My lungs tightened, and fighting the rising panic I forced my body to right itself and kicked for the surface—a tiny dot of silver up above.

  Too far. How could it be too far?

  No air. Needed air.

  I wouldn’t make it.

  Stay, stay here where its safe. Stay with me. I will protect you.

  That voice . . . It was water dude. Except this time his sentences were coherent, whereas last time he’d been all disjointed and freaky. He appeared before me, his green eyes so dark and huge they ate up his face. He cupped my cheek with his spindly fingers. I shook my head desperately trying to communicate to him that I couldn’t breathe, that I needed to rise. I needed to fucking breathe!

  You do not need to be she, or the she before. I won’t let you.

  His mouth didn’t move but his words reverberated in my mind. My head grew light, as the urge to open my mouth and take a breath became overwhelming.

  This was it.

  “Breathe!”

  The voice was a sharp slap.

  I inhaled, gasping and flailing. I was going to die.

  “Calm down, dammit. You’re safe. You’re alright.”

  I stared up into Erebus’s furious face.

  I wasn’t in the water. I was on the ground by the pool. But I was wet, at least my hair and face were. My heart felt like it was trying to tunnel out from my sternum.

  “I was in the water.”

  “I told you not to save that creature,” a smooth velvety voice I didn’t recognise said.

  Erebus ignored it and pulled me to my feet. I clung to him, my body trembling with confusion.

  “What just happened?”

  The stranger answered. “Well, we wandered into the garden to find you lying by the side of the pool with your head in the water. ‘Strange way to pass the time,’ I said to Erebus, but then he was already in hero mode and pulling you from the siren’s grip.”

  I pushed sopping ropes of hair from my face and turned to the speaker. He was around the same height as Erebus, but whereas the dark djinn was muscular and powerfully built, this djinn sported a more athletic wiry physique. His indigo hair was swept off his forehead and his green eyes studied me speculatively.

  “Thank you for the summary, Baal,” Erebus said dryly.

  “My pleasure.” He inclined his head. “It’s a shame you revived so easily. So disappointing for dear Erebus here. He didn’t even get to try out his lifeguard resuscitation skills.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “The kiss of life. He has a certificate, did he not tell you?”

  Oh man, I was so confused and I had water in my ear.

  Erebus began to lead me away from the pool. “Baal, you spend way too much time in the mortal realm, you know that?”

  “And you spent way too much time in your own company.” We walked past Baal and I was acutely aware of his gaze on my face. It was kinda like a warm finger, pleasant but slightly presumptuous.

  “Erebus,” Baal said.

  Erebus paused and turned slightly, taking me with him. “What?”

  “Would you like me to take care of it?” He ran an index finger across his throat in a slashing motion.

  “No!” I stepped out from under Erebus’s arm. “I don’t think he meant to hurt me.”

  Baal raised his brows. “Really, because from where we stood it looked like he wa
s applying the kiss of death.”

  Who the hell was this guy? “He was trying to tell me something.” The moments under the water were growing hazy now, like a dream slipping though my fingers. “I think he just wanted to warn me . . .”

  “Really?” Baal crossed his arms, his tailored shirt stretching distractingly across his broad chest. “Do tell.”

  I tried to latch on to the memory but it was like trying to hold onto smoke. I exhaled through my nose. “I can’t remember.”

  A gust of wind sent a chill through me, raising gooseflesh and making my teeth chatter.

  Erebus’s arm draped over my shoulder, his heat seeping into my skin. “Come, before you catch a chill.”

  I allowed him to lead me away from the pool, away from Baal and out of the garden where I’d almost drowned.

  ***

  “What’s a siren?” I asked Erebus once I was dry and no longer shaking.

  He’d escorted me straight back to my chambers and ordered me into the washroom to get changed and dry. He sat at the foot of my bed now, his gaze tracing the sweep of the comb as I brushed out my damp hair. Sabriel had been in my room plenty of times. He’d even sat in that same spot, but I’d never felt as fluttery as I did now. I gripped the comb tighter to quell the trembling of my fingers.

  “A siren is a water spirit. But Adamaris is different. The offspring of a water djinn and a siren, he is the only one of his kind. Exiled and ostracised, he’s lived a long hard life. I offered him a home here in the fortress.”

  “I really don’t think he was trying to hurt me.” Although, now that the incident was over and the memory of what happened had completely vanished, I wasn’t so sure.